The Conspiracy

I have been the victim of a conspiracy. It started with my children. Then my husband joined in. Later my sister and sister-in-law got involved. The final straw was when even our neighbor started to side against me. The conspiracy involved a dog. I didn't want a dog. My husband always said he didn't want a dog, but apparently he changed his mind. He decided it would be a good thing for the kids to grow up with a dog. He also decided that we needed a watchdog. Shortly after this, my sister-in-law kept bringing her very cute Cavalier King Charles Spaniel over. Then one day our neighbor (with whom my husband had been talking about the dog issue) showed up at the door with How to Raise the Perfect Dog by Cesar Milan.......(as if such a thing were possible.)

So, I decided that education was my only defense, especially after my neighbor said (when he gave me the book) that it was "a matter of when rather than if." Since I am one of their best customers, the White Bear Lake library was more than happy to loan me a small collection of dog books. We started with The Encyclopedia of Dog Breeds which showed us all manner of professional photos of show dogs with descriptions of their size, temperament, exercise needs, watchdog ability, grooming requirements etc. Since we had already decided from the beginning that IF we got a dog it would be a short haired one, this disqualified at least half of the dogs in the book. With some of the requirements some dogs have, I don't see how their owners can even think of having a personal life. When I see the masses of hair in some breeds, I can only imagine the time commitment required for the brushing and detangling, not to mention washing and drying of their coats. Some of the dogs I read about require TWO One Hour walks a day! Who has time for that?? Certainly not a family with three young children where the parents consider themselves lucky if they get in one twenty minute workout for themselves three times a week!

I read at least four other dog-related books (My favorite was Be the Pack Leader by Cesar Milan. I think this book is interesting and helpful even if you never own a dog.) I have interviewed people from two different rescue groups and the Humane Society. I have spent hours on petfinder & been fascinated by the myriad of dogs up for adoption, their names and their stories. Two of my children and I even went to a "meet and greet" for a rescue group and had a wonderful time petting the dogs and talking to their foster parents. All the "parents" were eager to answer our questions, and one of them even put her "foster child" into my arms and began to sing his praises. I have talked to a number of friends and relatives who are dog owners to glean their words of wisdom. I have even gone so far as to become a volunteer for Minnesota Boxer Rescue. Although I have yet to do anything for them, one of their members volunteered to mentor mentor me on doing home visits (for potential adoptive families), and I have begun receiving many interesting e-mails about dogs and jobs that need volunteers. The most interesting thing I have learned about is the transports. People from various rescue groups band together to transport dogs LONG distances....like from Georgia to North Dakota! Different people volunteer to transport the dogs on a leg of the journey (usually about a 1-2 hour drive) and all the legs together combine to cover the whole distance. I had no idea that something like that went on! (Although I have to say that I would pity the dog who had to relocate to North Dakota. :) )

So, after all this, am I ready to get a dog? The answer is that I feel like I am about to jump off a cliff. I am worried about how well I will handle the additional responsibility, and since I do like dogs, I don't want to be a bad dog owner. However, dog ownership does interest me, and some aspects I actually find exciting. I recently read an article about a study in Great Britain showing that dog owners actually get more exercise than non-dog-owners who have gym memberships! Heaven knows, I could use more exercise! I also like the idea of having a warm, furry body around spreading joy and unconditional love. I just hope I am being realistic.

We have decided to wait until spring. At that point, we will lay everything out on paper and try to realistically evaluate our fitness for dog ownership. Of course, money will be a factor. If we can afford it and it seems that we are truly up for the task, we have all agreed that we would like to get a boxer or boxer mix. But I have told my husband, "No puppies." I have done enough potty training already.

Don't try this at home - the latest "adventure" in the frozen tundra

Last Sunday, I took the kids sledding. This would seem to be an uneventful occurrence in the frozen tundra. The kids wanted their dad to come along too, but he had recently hurt his back & didn't feel up to a sledding excursion. In retrospect this was an interesting statement.

When we arrived at the sledding hill, we had it all to ourselves. At the time, I thought this was a good thing. My four year old, S, refused to sled down the hill at all. This surprised me because he had been excited about going sledding. Perhaps he was remembering last years incident in which he sledded through a plastic fence with his sister. Perhaps he was just wiser than I was....apparently. The other two kids, 9 year old J & 7 year old K were having fun sledding down the hill alone on their own sleds. After a time, J asked if I would sled down with him (I had already taken an uneventful slide with K). Someone had made a jump on the hill. We weren't trying to hit it. Before either of us could react, we hit the jump and went sailing up into the air. I would be interested to know how high up we were - it felt like about 3 feet. Of course, the law of gravity was alive and well. I took the brunt of the impact, smashing into the ground and feeling a crunch all the way up my back. We both had the wind knocked out of us, and we were screaming. I was screaming in pain and fear that I had just paralyzed myself. J was screaming, "We knocked out the wind!" and "I need some water!"


(Here is a pre-accident photo of the jump that would later become my undoing.)

I neglected to mention that another family had arrived during the time we were sledding. This was absolutely an act of providence. The man of this family came down to us and asked if we were o.k. My first response was, "I don't know," (and I honestly wasn't sure whether or not I would be able to get up again.) After a few minutes, I asked if he could help me get up. He helped me up and helped me back to our car. I was so grateful that he was there.

I drove us home. I was crying the whole way because the pain was so bad, but I was so grateful to be walking.

Because a bone in my back didn't look quite right, my dear Schatzi advised me to go to the doctor on Monday. I got x-rays and discovered that I have a wedge compression fracture in my thoracic spine (which I was told is much better than having a fracture in one's lumbar spine). Ouch. Ouch. Ouch. And this is from a woman who has given birth to 3 children (one of whom took 36 hours to finally make an appearance) without ever using pain medication.

So, this has been an interesting week - filled to the limit with Ibuprofen and Tylenol 3 with Codeine. Thankfully. I have been advised not to lift anything heavier than a gallon of milk which means (among other things) that Schatzi now has to do the grocery shopping (as if he didn't already have enough to do). My family has been wonderful. My children have helped me get up and walk around. J & K made their own lunches one day (although J complained, "Why should I make my own lunch?" My response was: "Because you want to eat?") My wonderful Schatzi has been cooking and cleaning up the kitchen, carrying around laundry baskets for me and telling me to sit down.

There is a blessing in this, though. The blessing of laying on the couch with 4 year old S, reading books, watching Lone Ranger and Partridge Family episodes on Hulu and trying not to devour his cheeks. There is also the luxury of being able to lie on the couch and not feel guilty because, for once, this is what I am supposed to be doing. :)