From apathetic to obsessed

How has this happened? I, the person who wanted nothing to do with any kind of pet, have now become obsessed with finding the perfect dog. I know there is really no such thing, but I have to believe that there is a good match out there somewhere for our family. Maybe I'm just consumed with the search itself. For some reason, I find Petfinder completely absorbing. There are so many different kinds of dogs, so many different breed mixes, so many different stories of where they have come from, how they ended up in rescue, so many different personalities. In a way it reminds me of our house search. It really became a habit. After we put the kids to bed, we would go online to the MLS website and look at houses. It was really hard to stop once we got started. Even months after we had found our new house & even moved in, I would still sometimes catch myself thinking, "Let's see what houses are online today." Maybe it's comparable to gambling addiction. Somehow you believe that that big jackpot is just around the corner. Maybe there will be the perfect, affordable, too good to be true dreamhouse in our favorite neighborhood online today. New houses pop up all the time. It's hard not to keep looking. I feel the same way about the dogs. Maybe there is that cute, housetrained & crate trained dog who loves kids, walks well on a leash and is easy to take care of. Maybe there is one who would really be a joy to have around, one that would make any extra work worthwhile. I guess this same feeling is what makes garage sales, thrift stores, Craigslist & Ebay so popular. You never know when or where you might find that once in a lifetime deal. I am hoping that we might find that once in a lifetime dog......or at least that I will be able to spend a little less time on Petfinder. :)

Those of you who have not known me for a long time are probably wondering about the dog photos at the beginning and end of this post. I found them in one of my photo albums and scanned them in. On the back is written "Darlin' '92." I think I was about 15 when my dad brought her home from the park and ride. He had gotten off the bus that day and gone to his car. When he opened the door, she just hopped in! She had been shot in the leg with a bee bee gun, and of course, she was filthy. I'll have to ask him why he decided to bring her home. (My parents have never been one for impulsive decisions. Even ordering at a restaurant is a monumental event for them!) He tried to find an owner, but no one claimed her. He took her to the vet to find out whether or not she was healthy. He found out that she was healthy and probably about 9 months to 1 year old. The vet fixed her leg, and we got her cleaned up. Maybe she knew she had been rescued. Maybe she was just one of those dogs that make people want to have dogs. Of course, she wasn't perfect, but she was a joy to have around. She had free run of the house, and we never worried that she would tear up anything. Her greatest sin was probably when my mom had some pastries on the open oven door. I suppose the temptation was too great. When no one was looking, she took one and went very guiltily into the next room.

I have read a number of times that it is not a good idea to pick up a stray. I would probably agree. I guess the reason I bring up Darlin' is that I know it's possible to have a dog that we would enjoy..... which is probably a lot of what makes it hard for me to give up the search.

Dog Parenting Failures

Well, at least we can say we tried. At first, things seemed to be going well with the dog we agreed to foster to adopt. He looked just like we were hoping for. He was friendly, didn't beg for food, didn't have accidents in the house. He had energy but wasn't bouncing off the walls. He seemed friendly & seemed to listen to our commands. He had that adorable way of cocking his head when I spoke to him, as if he were trying to understand what I was saying.

The first night we put him in his kennel, he whined and barked off and on all night. We weren't too surprised, since apparently he didn't sleep in a kennel at his former home. The second night, he carried on for about 10 minutes, but then settled in for the night. Each night it got better. One night, he barely "complained" at all. We were so impressed (not to mention relieved :) )!

I was so proud of the way he listened to my commands when we were out for a walk. We passed by 3 other dogs, and each time, he responded to my correction and totally ignored them! Wow! What a great dog!

But then came some incidents which I thought put me in a position of having to choose between the dog and my children. Although he mostly responded to the kids with wags and kisses, there were a few times that he growled at them. It was not an "understandable" type of growling - such as that they were touching his food, taking away his toy, teasing him etc. A few times he nipped at them. I don't think that nipping is actually the best word choice here, but I don't really know what else to call it. He didn't hurt them. He didn't break any skin, but he did direct his mouth toward them in a scary way. Each time the kids looked so confused - why is this dog who is supposed to love us acting this way? The worst time was when he actually nipped at my daughter's stomach - enough that we could see marks. This makes even less sense as she has been the primary person who has been getting his food ready every day. You know what people say about biting the hand that feeds you.....

So, I talked to a couple of people at MN Boxer Rescue. They were very helpful. They told me that this behavior was perfectly trainable (or untrainable, as the case may be). They told me that I could take him to a trainer (who is at least 45 minutes away) and she could stop him, guaranteed. They told me it might take one time; it might take 5 times, but he could be trained out of this behavior. He is a smart dog. That is obvious. I'm sure he CAN be trained to stop this unacceptable behavior. However, my God-given responsibility is to put my children before....well, before most things - except God and my husband. I thought about my poor daughter who got bitten (although, thankfully, not seriously) and is afraid of the dog. He stares her down suspiciously, even though she is the one who is feeding him. She has asked several times if she can try to pet him again to see if he will nip at her (bless her heart!), but I don't feel right about giving her permission to possibly get hurt again. (O.k., I just have to throw in that just now as I was typing, my youngest child came in and the dog just nipped at him!!) I can't imagine saying to my daughter, "I know this dog is being mean to you, but we are going to take even more time away from you to work on training this dog. He will learn not to nip, but in the meantime, you will just have to be in danger until we can get him trained." I'm sure that many animal lovers would call me heartless and selfish, but surely any parent can understand that my child has to come first.

The dog is beautiful. He can be very sweet. I'm sure he will do great with some training (and in a home without small children). But we are not the ones for this job. Thankfully, there are other fosters more dedicated than we are. In a couple of days, we will be able to hand him off. It may sound heartless, but I can't wait.