Dog Parenting Failures

Well, at least we can say we tried. At first, things seemed to be going well with the dog we agreed to foster to adopt. He looked just like we were hoping for. He was friendly, didn't beg for food, didn't have accidents in the house. He had energy but wasn't bouncing off the walls. He seemed friendly & seemed to listen to our commands. He had that adorable way of cocking his head when I spoke to him, as if he were trying to understand what I was saying.

The first night we put him in his kennel, he whined and barked off and on all night. We weren't too surprised, since apparently he didn't sleep in a kennel at his former home. The second night, he carried on for about 10 minutes, but then settled in for the night. Each night it got better. One night, he barely "complained" at all. We were so impressed (not to mention relieved :) )!

I was so proud of the way he listened to my commands when we were out for a walk. We passed by 3 other dogs, and each time, he responded to my correction and totally ignored them! Wow! What a great dog!

But then came some incidents which I thought put me in a position of having to choose between the dog and my children. Although he mostly responded to the kids with wags and kisses, there were a few times that he growled at them. It was not an "understandable" type of growling - such as that they were touching his food, taking away his toy, teasing him etc. A few times he nipped at them. I don't think that nipping is actually the best word choice here, but I don't really know what else to call it. He didn't hurt them. He didn't break any skin, but he did direct his mouth toward them in a scary way. Each time the kids looked so confused - why is this dog who is supposed to love us acting this way? The worst time was when he actually nipped at my daughter's stomach - enough that we could see marks. This makes even less sense as she has been the primary person who has been getting his food ready every day. You know what people say about biting the hand that feeds you.....

So, I talked to a couple of people at MN Boxer Rescue. They were very helpful. They told me that this behavior was perfectly trainable (or untrainable, as the case may be). They told me that I could take him to a trainer (who is at least 45 minutes away) and she could stop him, guaranteed. They told me it might take one time; it might take 5 times, but he could be trained out of this behavior. He is a smart dog. That is obvious. I'm sure he CAN be trained to stop this unacceptable behavior. However, my God-given responsibility is to put my children before....well, before most things - except God and my husband. I thought about my poor daughter who got bitten (although, thankfully, not seriously) and is afraid of the dog. He stares her down suspiciously, even though she is the one who is feeding him. She has asked several times if she can try to pet him again to see if he will nip at her (bless her heart!), but I don't feel right about giving her permission to possibly get hurt again. (O.k., I just have to throw in that just now as I was typing, my youngest child came in and the dog just nipped at him!!) I can't imagine saying to my daughter, "I know this dog is being mean to you, but we are going to take even more time away from you to work on training this dog. He will learn not to nip, but in the meantime, you will just have to be in danger until we can get him trained." I'm sure that many animal lovers would call me heartless and selfish, but surely any parent can understand that my child has to come first.

The dog is beautiful. He can be very sweet. I'm sure he will do great with some training (and in a home without small children). But we are not the ones for this job. Thankfully, there are other fosters more dedicated than we are. In a couple of days, we will be able to hand him off. It may sound heartless, but I can't wait.